Until today i thought that there was no point in talking about Michel Moore any longer. i thought he had been fisked up the wazoo by now, and that no one who follows the alternative media need bring up his name again.

However, then i read the Lileks piece. i'm sure today's Bleat has been linked ad infinitum and with good reason. Let my linking to it here be a signal that i wish to add my voice to the countless others who say: "Bravo James Lileks, Bravo yet again."

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i just saw the biggest, scariest looking dragonfly i've ever seen, out on the sidewalk in front of this office building. It must have been six inches long.

They're not dangerous are they?

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Please remember that tomorrow is Frank J's blogversary and International Link to IMAO Day. i plan to post a gratuitous link in commemoration of the event, and in thanksgiving for the very existence of so great a blog hero, and also in the hope that Frank might update my link on his crazy blue blogroll to my new mu.nu address.

Apologetic Update: i didn't participate in International Link To IMAO Day, but that was due to the family emergency. Sorry Frank.

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i found this quiz at baldilocks. It's called: "20 Questions to a Better Personality." Well, i answered all twenty questions, but i don't feel any different. That's false advertising.

Here are my results; i didn't cheat; i think it's bullshit; so interpret them as you may:

Wackiness: 56/100
Rationality: 58/100
Constructiveness: 32/100
Leadership: 44/100

You are a WRDF--Wacky Rational Destructive Follower. This makes you a hacker. Your thirst for knowledge can be damaging to your possessions--you like to take things apart, even if you then forget to put them back together. You demand respect and, no matter how much you are respected, seldom feel it is adequate. You are tenacious, and will stick to a task long after weaker minds have given it up.

Socially, you are awkward, and get into arguments and make people uncomfortable. One recommends counting to ten, holding back comments unless warranted, and listening more than speaking. Still, your no-holds-barred approach to socialization can be strangely endearing, as long as you are funny and self-deprecating.

You feel misunderstood, and you probably are.

Update: This same quiz proclaims that the BigHominid is "completely unfunny." Now i know it's bullshit.

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1 I can't take those quizzes. I always find out that I'm a blithering idiot!

Posted by: Brent at July 07, 2004 06:25 PM (w+y2e)

2 Well I took the Quiz also, and I got Wackiness: 34/100 Rationality: 72/100 Constructiveness: 26/100 Leadership: 64/100 You are an SRDL--Sober Rational Destructive Leader. This makes you a mob boss. You are the ultimate alpha person and even your friends give you your space. You can't stand whiners, weaklings, schlemiels or schlemozzles. You don't make many jokes, but when you do, others laugh out loud. They must. People often turn to you for advice, and wisely. You are calm in a crisis, cautious in a tempest, and attuned to even the finest details. Yours is the profile of a smart head for business and a dangerous enemy. You have a natural knack for fashion and occupy a suit like a matinee idol. Your charisma is striking and without artifice. You are generous, thoughtful, and appreciate life's finer things. Please don't kick my ass. Alpha? Me?

Posted by: Chuck at July 07, 2004 08:01 PM (s6c4t)

3 I took the quiz and I too, am a hacker. What doesn't seem to fit me though, is the "socially awkward, getting into arguments and making people feel uncomfortable" part. I can't stand arguing and therefore will do my best to prevent that. Weird.

Posted by: Amy at July 08, 2004 07:06 AM (RpVKX)

4 Same here, Amy.

Posted by: annika! at July 08, 2004 08:55 AM (zAOEU)

5 Oh dear, I don't like this at ALL: Wackiness: 16/100 Rationality: 40/100 Constructiveness: 44/100 Leadership: 34/100 You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting. Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable. You are not to be messed with. You may explode Help!

Posted by: Hugo at July 08, 2004 09:06 AM (LQVcV)

6 ". . . destroying the weak and unsuspecting . . . Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable." Sheesh Hugo, i feel sorry for your students! LOL, just kidding babe.

Posted by: annika at July 08, 2004 09:21 AM (zAOEU)

7 Hmmmmm...I suppose I can see it, even though I can't stand the guy: Wackiness: 56/100 Rationality: 60/100 Constructiveness: 62/100 Leadership: 34/100 You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you Paul Begala. You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to. You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised. You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.

Posted by: Dave J at July 08, 2004 10:49 AM (VThvo)

8 I, apparently, rock. You are a SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a Politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy. At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself. You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting. You are very difficult to dislike.

Posted by: tiff_grrl at December 27, 2004 08:49 PM (oPCr5)

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Question one: Take a far left agenda, combine it with a generous amount of blind hubris, and remove all traces of ethical responsibility and what do you have? Answer: The Los Angeles Times under its current führer, John Carroll.

Question two: Are the numerous factual errors in the Times' news reportage innocent or are they indicative of a feverish propaganda effort? According to Slate:

On July 4, an LAT front page piece reported that our civilian administrator for Iraq, Paul Bremer

left without even giving a final speech to the country — almost as if he were afraid to look in the eye the people he had ruled for more than a year

when in fact Bremer did give a farewell speech, which was well-received by at least some Iraqis. [links omitted]

To the propagandists at the L.A. Times, the ends always justify the means. For example: Print lies about candidate Schwarzenneger on the eve of the election, while ignoring credible claims that Davis physically assaulted his female staffers? No problem. What do ethics matter when the goal is to stop the evil Republicans?

Just watch the L.A. Times as we get closer to the November election. We ain't seen nothing yet.

Slate link via Professor Hewitt.

Update: As reported at Powerline, The Times has offered a correction, but not an apology. i think an apology is in order when a major newspaper makes a false statement in a news story (as opposed to an op-ed) and then levels a cheap shot based on that false statement. It's not enough to simply retract the false statement and leave the cheap shot out there. But that's The Times, and that's why i wouldn't even read their sports page when i lived in L.A.

For more articulate L.A. Times bashing than i am able to muster, go on over to Patterico's Pontifications.

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Inspired by Ginger and Candace's recent post about their fabulous meeting in the city of New York, i decided to select a poem from my favorite New York poet, Frank O'Hara.

The following is one of O'Hara's best known poems, and it deserves to be. Reading it, one can imagine what it must have been like to be young and hip in the city back in 1959.

"Lady," by the way, is the great jazz singer Billie Holiday, who died on July 17, 1959 at New York's Metropolitan Hospital.

The Day Lady Died

It is 12:20 in New York a Friday
three days after Bastille day, yes
it is 1959 and I go get a shoeshine
because I will get off the 4:19 in Easthampton
at 7:15 and then go straight to dinner
and I don't know the people who will feed me

I walk up the muggy street beginning to sun
and have a hamburger and a malted and buy
an ugly NEW WORLD WRITING to see what the poets
in Ghana are doing these days
                                        I go on to the bank
and Miss Stillwagon (first name Linda I once heard)
doesn't even look up my balance for once in her life
and in the GOLDEN GRIFFIN I get a little Verlaine
for Patsy with drawings by Bonnard although I do
think of Hesiod, trans. Richmond Lattimore or
Brendan Behan's new play or Le Balcon or Les Nègres
of Genet, but I don't, I stick with Verlaine
after practically going to sleep with quandariness

and for Mike I just stroll into the PARK LANE
Liquor Store and ask for a bottle of Strega and
then I go back where I came from to 6th Avenue
and the tobacconist in the Ziegfeld Theatre and
casually ask for a carton of Gauloises and a carton
of Picayunes, and a NEW YORK POST with her face on it

and I am sweating a lot by now and thinking of
leaning on the john door in the 5 SPOT
while she whispered a song along the keyboard
to Mal Waldron and everyone and I stopped breathing

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i may not be an expert on politics - just see my last post wherein i predicted that Gephardt would be Kerry's choice for VP - but if my dating experience is any indication, i am definitely an expert on picking the wrong guy.

So i can say with confidence that John Edwards has all the qualities of the wrong guy. He's good looking and charming, two qualities that always beguile a girl like me, and make it difficult not to overlook the downside.

In Kerry's case, he's gone strictly by the poll numbers in making this choice. But like i said in my last post, we run our elections according to the electoral college, not popular vote. Kerry would have been better served by a guy who could at least deliver one battleground state as a native son. Since Edwards can't do that in an election that might come down to one or two states, Kerry picked the wrong guy.

On the other hand, when i heard the news this morning i realized one strategic advantage that Edwards brings to the ticket. An advantage that i overlooked when i wrote yesterday's post. While he will probably not enable the Democrats to win any southern states, he does force the Republicans to spend more money in the South than they might have if Kerry had chosen a midwesterner. That's money that the GOP won't be able to spend in a battleground state. And elections are really all about money, aren't they?

Still, i like Bush and Cheney's chances against these two boobs. Everbody's making a big deal about how Edwards is going to be able to stand up to Cheney in the VP debate. But really, that's nonsense. There's only going to be one VP debate, and when has it ever had an impact on any election? Never. Remember the 1988 Bentsen/Quayle debate? If there was ever a time when one VP candidate trounced the other candidate, 1988 was it. Bush the Elder still won because the Democrat at the top of the ticket was the only candidate that mattered. Besides, Cheney is no Quayle. If anything, the roles will be reversed this time around.

One final thought on Edwards, which i have to say in his defense. i've been hearing a lot of criticism against him based simply on the fact that he was a trial lawyer. The term "trial lawyer" is a somewhat imprecise term. i assume people mean plaintiff's lawyer, since many lawyers who do trials are not plaintiff's lawyers. i don't suppose you'd hear that kind of criticism leveled against someone like former U.S. Attorney Rudolph Giuliani for example, who was also a trial lawyer and a good one too. Not all trial lawyers are ambulance chasers.

Which brings me to my point. John Edwards was no ambulance chaser. Yes, he was a plaintiff's attorney, but from what i know of his career, he was the top guy in his field. Lawyers like him do not chase ambulances, or make money off of minor fender benders or spilled coffee. Edwards represented legitimate plaintiffs with serious injuries who deserved compensation by any standard of justice. And like another famous trial attorney turned politician, Edwards became the pre-eminent plaintiff's lawyer in his state because he was very very good. And that's worth something in my book.

So i don't agree with people who say Senator Edwards is the wrong guy just because he's a plaintiff's lawyer. i say he's the wrong guy because he's a Democrat.

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i would certainly be negligent if i did not wish our President a happy birthday! So:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT BUSH!

You never know, there is always the remote possibility that the chief executive visits my humble blog on occasion.

Thanks to Sarah for the reminder.

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Since my predictions during last year's football season were so amazing, i imagine that lots of my visitors are clamoring for my opinion regarding Kerry's as yet un-named running mate.

The short list includes Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, North Carolina Senator John Edwards, former president Hillery Clinton of course, and Missouri Representative Richard Gephardt.

i don't know who Vilsack is and i suspect that since i never heard of him, he must be a loser. Kerry is also a loser, so it naturally follows that Vilsack would be on the list. But he is not the pick.

John Edwards is cute, friendly, not a raving maniacal Bush hater (although he is a passable Bush dis-liker) and polls well with women. He might help the Democratic ticket if the election were based on a straight popular vote. But since we elect presidents based on the electoral college, Kerry must pick someone who will help deliver battleground states. Edwards might not even deliver South Carolina. Kerry would have to be an idiot to pick Edwards, which is why he's on the short list, since Kerry is an idiot.

Hillery will not be on the ticket because she is too divisive. She'd love to be the vice presidential candidate because, even if she loses, her stature rises in preparation for a run in 2008. There are many who love her, but right now, there are just as many who despise and fear her. After a few months as vice presidential candidate, people may get used to the idea of her as president again and her negatives may decline. Still, Kerry will not have her, because of his ego. He wants to run things, and to do so he can't have Hillery on his back.

But i think the man who makes perfect sense is Dick Gephardt. First of all he's paid his dues, it's his turn. He's viewed as more moderate than Kerry, so he's not too scary and will appeal to more than just the Dean crazies. Also, since the unions got Kerry by the balls, and Gephardt is their man, Kerry may not have a choice. He might have been given an offer he couldn't refuse, if you know what i mean. If Kerry delivers for the unions, they will deliver for him. And lastly, Gephardt has appeal in the battleground states of the midwest which, combined with his national recognizability, combines the best of Edwards and the best of Vilsack.

Put your money on Dick Gephardt.

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i just saw Yankee Doodle Dandy on AMC. Fantastic movie. One thing still puzzles me though, which was never explained in the film.

Why on earth would Yankee Doodle go to London just to ride a pony?

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i wanted Serena to win, but it was still cool to watch Maria Sharapova win the Wimbledon Championship this morning. She seems like a nice girl.

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. . . The fight scene in Rocky II is perhaps the greatest fight scene in the history of movies - but only if you accept the dubious possibility that two professional heavyweights would, or could, go 15 rounds without ever once protecting themselves, and that any referee would ever allow such a thing. . . .

. . . There's a really good reason why Ralph Macchio's career never caught fire after doing the Karate Kid movies: he is without a doubt the most annoying actor in the history of film. . . .

. . . What is it with you guys and The Blues Brothers movie? It must be some defect in the y chromosome that makes you love it so much because - face it - that movie really sucks. . . .

. . . Amityville II, The Possession shares a distinct honor with Superman III in my book. They are both completely and utterly unwatchable. . . .

Have a great Fourth of July weekend everybody! i'm outta here.

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1 My cousin went on a date with Ralph Macchio, and she thought he was annoying in real life. The Blues Brothers is kind of like a dog that is so lovable and so ugly that it's beautiful. It's lovable if you worship Belushi and dig the music- and I do. I love the scene in the sewer when he begs for his life, plants a wet one on Carrie Fischer, then drops her in the muck and says "Let's go." I love the performance scenes in the cowboy bar. Some of my earliest TV memories are of the TV show "Rawhide." It may be a generational thing. I was born in 1960.

Posted by: gcotharn in Texas at July 02, 2004 12:30 PM (AaBEz)

2 The Blues Brothers is just one of those things, like Better Off Dead or the American Pie movies, that captures the humor of a very specific group of people at a very specific point in time. So the people who have an association with it will always love it and nobody else will ever understand why. It was filmed in my home town, so I have a thing for it. Rocky II? You think? That second fight scene in Rocky III is pretty bad-ass.

Posted by: Joshua at July 02, 2004 12:36 PM (vNkaO)

3 I've played in bars with chicken wire around the stage. I've played in bars where the bar tab exceeded what the pay was. I've played in bars where a non-country band had to pull country tunes out of their ass in order to satisfy a potentially unruly crowd. I've talked people into doing gigs with me whil e they were working a service industry job. I haven't had a cute brunette shoot at me with an M16 because she felt spurned. Then again I generally avoid women who like poodle shooters to begin with. However according to my g/f I'm working on knocking that off my list of "things in my life that parellel the Blues Borthers". So for me the film is funny because while some of the antics seem absurd they're believable if you travel in the right (or worng) circles. Course if I ever walk into a greasy spoon & 'Retha is singing I won't say I'll be upset. It's kinda like Spinal Tap - the more you know about the music biz the funnier it is. I can see how someone would think either is a bit boring, but I can also see how ome people would think Python;s :The Holy Grail" isn't funny even though I still find parts of it hysterical. Oh, I'm just wondering about something you said in relation to Rocky II...I thought it was illegal in California to even say "15 rounds" or "protecting yourself" let alone using both in the same sentence? (yes, bad gun puns are not beneath me)

Posted by: Publicola at July 02, 2004 04:24 PM (Aao25)

4 rocky theme music is what will always live on in my mind about the movies.

Posted by: Dave at July 02, 2004 11:40 PM (CmObr)

5 Raging Bull... Happy 4th everyone.

Posted by: Col Steve at July 03, 2004 10:19 AM (g0QcF)

6 It's not a y-chromosome defect, it's a feature. This also applies for the movie Animal House, which all real men love too. And the Three Stooges.

Posted by: Jim at July 03, 2004 12:00 PM (n6xJH)

7 "It must be some defect in the y chromosome that makes you love it so much because - face it - that movie really sucks. . . ." Blasphemer!

Posted by: Matt at July 04, 2004 11:28 PM (cmv3U)

8 It must be some defect in the y chromosome that makes you love it so much... Actually, I think that it is a genetic short circuit caused by having two X chromosomes that causes women to not love The Blues Brothers. It, quite simply, is one of the funniest movies ever filmed. Period.

Posted by: Jerry at July 06, 2004 09:30 AM (C34kV)

9 annika, you are, as usual, absolutely correct. The Blues Brothers sucks donkey dick.

Posted by: Victor at July 06, 2004 09:48 AM (L3qPK)

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Here's a scary item, found via Blackfive:

Terrorists in the Abu Musab Zarqawi network in Iraq are specifically trying to kidnap an American female service member to further horrify the U.S. public.

. . .

'We have heard through intelligence channels that several extremist organizations are attempting to capture coalition servicemen and women,' said a senior military officer in Iraq. 'We have instituted additional force protection methods to thwart these attempts.'

Another defense source said there is an 'edict, either on paper or as an order,' within terrorist networks to capture an American female service member.

Of the 140,000 U.S. troops in Iraq, about 11,000 are women. They perform a variety of jobs, serving as drivers, medics, aviators, police and clerks. By law, they are banned from land combat, but they can still come into close contact with the enemy.

. . .

The defense source said Zarqawi's network apparently wants to further shock the Western world by kidnapping servicewomen and displaying them on videotape. Part of the terrorists' strategy is to cause so much bloodshed that President Bush loses public support for the war and is forced politically to bring the troops home.

The source also said that the terrorists might be planning 'payback' for a U.S. female soldier seen taking part in the abuse of Iraqi inmates at Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad.

i do think we need to resist the temptation to blame Pvt. England for this new tactic, though. i'm not saying her actions weren't blameworthy - she and her friends certainly made our job more difficult. But remember, every single woman who has been captured in Iraq by the enemy to my knowledge has either been raped or killed. That's in both Gulf wars. So the enemy's desire to film it and show their depravity to the world should not surprise anyone.

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Let's stop feeling sorry for MKO.

Can somebody make all celebrities just go away. Please?

Link thanks to Glenn.

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It doesn't seem to be widely reported yet, but Drudge links to a story that Marlon Brando has died.

Calling him the greatest actor of all time is a bit of a stretch. Still, Brando did some good work in his day. My favorites are On the Waterfront, Streetcar Named Desire of course, and the Godfather. His part in Apocalypse Now, although brief, was memorable. On the other side of the ledger, i thought he was horribly mis-cast in that musical Guys and Dolls.

And what was up with that strange Oscar non-acceptance episode?

To sum up my opinion: weird guy, decent actor.

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Here's a great idea for getting rich. Actually, it's not a new idea. It's really a very old idea. It used to be called whoring. Now, you just add blogging, politics, and a ghost writer, then wait a year or so for the big cash advance.

In May 26-year-old Jessica Cutler was fired by Senator Mike DeWine, an Ohio Republican, from her $25,000-a-year job sorting mail in his office after she was discovered using the Senate computer to write a blog that supposedly chronicled her sexual exploits with six unidentified Washington men, including one she described as a prominent appointee of the Bush administration. Now Ms. Cutler has taken what, for generations of young women who have become involved with the powerful, has been the next logical step. She has become a writer. Yesterday she sold a novel based on her exploits to HyperionDisney (Walt). Her agent, Michael Carlisle of Carlisle & Company, said the price was "a substantial six figures," and Hyperion would not be more specific. Not only did he sell her novel, he said, but she will also pose nude for the November issue of Playboy. Ms. Cutler's novel will be called "The Washingtonienne," after the name of her blog. Mr. Carlisle said that Ms. Cutler would not speak to the press until the book was published, perhaps a year from now.

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My new sarcastic slogan, which i intend to use while mocking ignorant lefties, is the following:

The war won't be a success until Iraq has a SPACE PROGRAM!

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Lazy schlub that i am, i forgot to do a Poetry Wednesday post. When i realized this too late, i toyed with the idea of just letting it go and hoping my two or three readers didn't notice.

Then this morning, surfing, i came across a lovely poem from 1911 that i just had to share with y'all. So here it is. The poet is Constantine P. Cavafy, an Egyptian born poet who wrote in Greek.

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

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A skanky homewrecking no-talent ho? The answer is yes.

But is she pregnant? She says no.

Okay, so commenter Rick chided me for not mentioning the rumor that Brittany is pregnant. Actually, not being as diligent lately as is my usual wont, i didn't know about the rumor until reading Rick's comment.

Here's the story.

Pop star Britney's shock engagement may reportedly be because the singer is pregnant. . . . [T]he News of the World says Britney is expecting a child at Christmas and so wants to be married to him by November.

. . .

The driving force behind the marriage is the singer's mother, Lynne, who doesn't want her to have a baby out of wedlock.

A Britney insider told the paper: 'Her mum has taken control now.'

They got talking on the plane about this and that and suddenly she proposed to him. And he said no. Now, this all is in a span of a couple of minutes. Then he turned around and asked her and she said yes.

Pop icon and fine upstanding role model: Brittany Spears.

Anyways, here's another rumor that i hope turns out to be true:

Pop beauty Britney Spears has decided to give up her singing career to become a full-time housewife, according to her pals.

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Here's a quote from Hillery Clinton's recent speech at a big time San Francisco $10,000 a plate fundraiser:

Many of you are well enough off that . . . the tax cuts may have helped you.

Since i'm so rich, though, i was not pleased to hear about the next thing the chief Democratic wench said:

We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short [the tax cuts] and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.

Link via Dodger fan, Matt.

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